In general, I really don't care what people think about me. I'm totally content to wear my sweats to Olive Garden and Basketball shorts instead of a slip underneath my see-through skirt. I want to be liked by everyone but I want to be liked for the person that I am.
When Casey and I had been married for about two years we became friends with a couple who had been married for 21 years. She would brag about him all of the time and I thought it was adorable. I even told Casey how amazing I thought it was that they were so happy 21 years later even though they married because of a pregnancy. A few months later they were filing for divorce. I was talking to a mutual friend and she said, "that's the way it works. The ones who brag are usually over-compensating." ever since then I've noticed it. I've noticed that the people who brag about their spouse are usually having marital problems.
First, I'd like to applaud these people for trying to find the positives in their significant other even though things are hard.
Second, I'm curious as to why only those who are struggling are looking for those positives?
The next thing I've heard was from a co-worker. She said, "If one person in the marriage is talking about how happy they are, the odds are, that the other person just wants out." What??!! Why can't both people be happy? I went straight home and told Casey about it and said "does that mean you are secretly unhappy?!" He just laughed at me, hugged me, and told me he was the happy one so I must be the one who wanted out.
For some reason these statements terrified me. I'm not sure if I believed that bragging about Casey would cosmically jinx us and we'd start to have marital problems or if I believed that if I bragged about Casey other people would just think that we were having marital problems. I've recently decided that I don't care anymore. I will no longer be holding back in my bragging about Casey. I might disguise it as sarcasm (see my last post) but I'm going to say it. And, believe it or not, I actually have been holding back. Only my close friends know about the expensive presents that Casey buys me just because he loves me. They are the only ones who know that I frequently complain about how awesome Casey is because his awesomeness makes me look bad. He refuses to get me a Barnes and Noble gift card for every occasion and instead finds something special and unique (and usually more expensive than I'd like. like my nook. and my old nook. expensive, but my most prized possession). He continues to make dinner and do dishes almost every night. He holds me when I'm sad or sick and takes me to buy Caffeine when I'm tired.
I will brag about my husband. And I will like it. If it makes you want to punch me in the face with jealousy, I'm OK with that, because you should be jealous. You should also brag about your spouse. It's OK to tell me how awesome they are. It's OK to let people see the upside of marriage and not just hear about the disasters. The truth is, Marriage is the best thing that I've ever done. I refuse to continue to be embarrassed by the fact that by the time Friday rolls around, I miss spending all day with Casey. I like spending all day with him, I'm nerdy like that.
Our culture puts the emphasis on drama. I hope to emphasize my boring, peaceful, perfectly happy home. I hope my children know the piece that I feel because of my wonderful spouse. (And no, we most definitely aren't having marital problems.)
Lunch Lady Peanut Butter Bars
4 days ago