The Sad Debate

Earlier this week, Casey and I got in to another one of our debates. I was watching the Transformer movies (again) and I told Casey that Optimus's death scene in the second movie is one of the saddest death scenes ever. It could be because I have a mild crush on Optimus, but I don't think so. So then we started discussing sad death scenes. My list looked something like this (in no particular order):

• Optimus Prime (Transformers)
• Mufasa (Lion King)
• G-Baby (Hard Ball)
• Old Yeller

Casey made fun of the fact that 3 out of 4 of my sad death scenes didn't involve actual people...Casey's list looked like this:

• Lane Frost (8 seconds)

Yep. that's it. He loves that movie. And I'm not denying it's sad. But the sad part is when Tough is crying and "riding for Lane". sheesh. it gets me every time. But the death scene isn't the sad part.
We tossed around some others, Danny from Pearl Harbor, Heath Ledger in the Patriot, Marley in Marley and Me, I even mentioned Jack from Titanic and then we both laughed because we hate that movie.
Anyway, now I feel like I must be missing something. There's got to be a sad death scene that beats mine? right? Help me out folks what am I missing?

You Can't Stop Me

In general, I really don't care what people think about me. I'm totally content to wear my sweats to Olive Garden and Basketball shorts instead of a slip underneath my see-through skirt. I want to be liked by everyone but I want to be liked for the person that I am.
When Casey and I had been married for about two years we became friends with a couple who had been married for 21 years. She would brag about him all of the time and I thought it was adorable. I even told Casey how amazing I thought it was that they were so happy 21 years later even though they married because of a pregnancy. A few months later they were filing for divorce. I was talking to a mutual friend and she said, "that's the way it works. The ones who brag are usually over-compensating." ever since then I've noticed it. I've noticed that the people who brag about their spouse are usually having marital problems.
First, I'd like to applaud these people for trying to find the positives in their significant other even though things are hard.
Second, I'm curious as to why only those who are struggling are looking for those positives?
The next thing I've heard was from a co-worker. She said, "If one person in the marriage is talking about how happy they are, the odds are, that the other person just wants out." What??!! Why can't both people be happy? I went straight home and told Casey about it and said "does that mean you are secretly unhappy?!" He just laughed at me, hugged me, and told me he was the happy one so I must be the one who wanted out.

For some reason these statements terrified me. I'm not sure if I believed that bragging about Casey would cosmically jinx us and we'd start to have marital problems or if I believed that if I bragged about Casey other people would just think that we were having marital problems. I've recently decided that I don't care anymore. I will no longer be holding back in my bragging about Casey. I might disguise it as sarcasm (see my last post) but I'm going to say it. And, believe it or not, I actually have been holding back. Only my close friends know about the expensive presents that Casey buys me just because he loves me. They are the only ones who know that I frequently complain about how awesome Casey is because his awesomeness makes me look bad. He refuses to get me a Barnes and Noble gift card for every occasion and instead finds something special and unique (and usually more expensive than I'd like. like my nook. and my old nook. expensive, but my most prized possession). He continues to make dinner and do dishes almost every night. He holds me when I'm sad or sick and takes me to buy Caffeine when I'm tired.
I will brag about my husband. And I will like it. If it makes you want to punch me in the face with jealousy, I'm OK with that, because you should be jealous. You should also brag about your spouse. It's OK to tell me how awesome they are. It's OK to let people see the upside of marriage and not just hear about the disasters. The truth is, Marriage is the best thing that I've ever done. I refuse to continue to be embarrassed by the fact that by the time Friday rolls around, I miss spending all day with Casey. I like spending all day with him, I'm nerdy like that.
Our culture puts the emphasis on drama. I hope to emphasize my boring, peaceful, perfectly happy home. I hope my children know the piece that I feel because of my wonderful spouse. (And no, we most definitely aren't having marital problems.)

The burden of over-productivity

 I am stationary. I am a lump. I am a slow growing cactus. I am the tortoise.
Casey is not. Casey NEEDS change. and often. As my sister-in-law would say "I am the roots and he is the wings"  In 2007 we got married. In 2008 we bought a car. In 2009 we bought a house and a dog. In 2010 we bought a new car and a new dog. In 2011 he re-landscaped and bought a car and a four-wheeler. In 2012 we had a baby and had lots of prep to do for that. 2013 Casey went in to re-model mode and we had a ton of personal changes and 2014 seems to be sticking with re-model and he's also mentioned moving... I plan to hold him off as long as I can.
Christmas was amazing. Casey sold his snowmobile. We were both sad but it never got used. He used his snowmobile money to buy a new bedroom set for our room. I also got a carpet/upholstery cleaner (lame, maybe, but I'm sssooo excited!!). Then he bought me this :

 

Isn't she beautiful? My books are no longer in drawers! They are no longer sitting randomly around my house. He also put in Can lights to accent my bookshelf. There are also now Can lights in our bedroom on a dimmer switch.

Other things he's done are; build shelves in the cellar, paint our living room a new color (mojito. It used to be Dark Purple),

cleaned out the loft area (this was painful and scary. oh so scary. So. much. dust.), put hardware on our cabinets, and now he's wanting to put a back splash in the kitchen.

I think I'm the only wife in the world that wishes her husband was lazier. He makes me look bad. I help. I really do! I just wouldn't ever repaint or organize our crap if he didn't start it. And I am TERRIBLE  at decorating so every time he has an idea I make him run it through Katy Pluim for approval. She always tells me "Casey has a good eye. just trust him." it looks like in the next few weeks we'll be doing the following: finishing putting Canned lighting through the house (2 rooms left), painting EVERY wall and ceiling and putting a back splash in the kitchen.

Why oh why is my husband so ambitious?! I'm sure you're thinking I'm being sarcastic. I'm not. I could sit on the couch and read for a month and be totally content. I consider grocery shopping and doing the dishes a productive day. In fact, I'm sad that Casey will be here for Valentines day because now I have to get him a present. but that's another story for another day. The moral of my story is Casey is awesome and I'm picked on. 

Stranger stories

In the last few years it's been brought to my attention that not everyone has in depth conversations with strangers. I always thought this was a normal occurrence. I thought people just talked to each other. Check out lines, while searching for things in the store, at the doctors office, etc.. Casey was the first to point out that it wasn't normal. Now my friends make fun of me too. I had a teacher who called it "round face syndrome". But, I must admit, I love it. I love meeting strangers and learning about their lives! Sometimes the stories are strange and awkward but good entertainment. Sometimes they make my day. So here are my 5 favorite strangers:

1. The drive through lady- The nicest lady ever who would always upgrade my medium drink to a large. I didn't ever learn her name but I did know she was divorced and She was working at Iceberg to support not only herself but her daughter, abusive son-in-law, and eventually her new grand baby (born a few months before Heston). She no longer works there. I hope she's well.

2. The waiter at Applebee's- He was flamboyant and proud. Me and some friends were eating a late (11pm) dinner and he sat down next to me and started chatting. He had me laughing so hard that I couldn't even eat my food. he then told us a story about how he had a little Yorky and then his "fat brother" sat on the dog and killed it and didn't even know because he was so fat he didn't feel it. I couldn't decide on laughing or crying. Luckily Katy was there to laugh for me!

3. The back-up travel agent- She helped me one day while our normal person was on vacation. Her granddaughter had leukemia. She had only one match for her bone marrow transplant and they said "yes!".

4. The boy from high school- We never spoke in high school but I ran into him one day at UVU. He was divorced because his wife couldn't accept his bi-sexuality. He was forced by a social worker to move in with his parents after a suicide attempt but chose instead to live in his car. He was also having problems with his co-workers.

5. The oversharer- It takes a lot to embarrass me. But somehow this man managed. I had just come back from maternity leave and he was asking questions about UVU's insurance coverage of the birth. He started telling me about his wife's most recent vaginal exam and ultrasound. Then he started telling me about how much he paid out for his Prostate problems. something about blood vessels...

To you 5 strangers, I say, thank you for brightening my day, teaching me something new, and trusting me with your personal info. Props to you for being willing to share!

You may not know...

I've been seeing all of the "things you may not know about me" posts all over Facebook and I'm going to be honest: I LOVE THEM! I love seeing the random things that everyone shares! People are amazing. Everyone is so different that when I get to see these things and learn something knew I really enjoy it. And now I've just outed myself... Yes, I stalk you on facebook and learn things about you that you'll never know that I know. Anyway, in the spirit of things I've decided to post some things on my blog that you may not know about me:

1. One time I licked a toilet seat on a dare. (I have Logan to thank for that--I also ate dirt at one point)
2. My favorite treat is Movie theatre popcorn
3. when listening to Broadway Musical CD's I act out all the parts as I sing.
4. I love to Mosh Pit.
5. I like dogs more than people (and that's saying something! I really like people!)
6. I have 5 best friends (not counting Casey). The shortest relationship being 10 years and the longest being 25. I would take a bullet for them. I love you Dani, Tisha, Maegs, B, and Ali.
7. Casey is the first person I introduced myself to on my first day at a new school. It was Freshman year. He looked kind and I liked his shirt.
8. Casey is the only boyfriend that I've kissed.
9. I ran over a dog once because I was texting and driving. I cried.
10. I only cry about once a year. Usually at a funeral or because of Grey's Anatomy.
11. The scariest movie I've ever seen is The Great Mouse Detective.
12. 75% of the things I say to Casey are inappropriate innuendos.
13. 75% of the things I say to other people are dripping with sarcasm.
14. I don't believe in soul mates. Or fate. I think the reason I'm so in love is just that Casey really is the best. He'd make anyone happy.
15. I call in sick at least a few times a year just to read.
16. I love all carbonated drinks except Dr. Pepper.
17. My proudest moment last week was when Heston put Skills (our dog) in a headlock.
18. I'm allergic to Bananas and Kiwi
19. I wanted to be a boy until about Junior High
20. My brother Luke taught me how to Braid hair. He used Twizzlers as a teaching tool.
21. I'm afraid of Preying Mantis's (Mantii? Mantis'? )
22. I have no Holiday Spirit.
23. I had a hermit crab named Kamoo... He scared me. I forgot about him and he molded and died. There was a funeral.

I think that's enough for today. :)

Ode to my Blog title

It's been a while since I've blogged... So I'm blogging! However, I have a lot of things jumbling around in my brain and, as always, it's nothing important just  Lots of Nonsense.

I've been thinking about the huge amounts of peaches Casey canned and whether I should start putting bows on them and giving them as gifts (Yes, Casey canned peaches. Heston LOVES THEM but we have a ton! we also have a lot of Jam....)
I've been thinking about how awesome Heston is.
I've been thinking about ways I feel I should be a better Mom... things like maybe bathing Heston regularly instead of the wet wipe baths I tend to do. Or working on getting him to use more words. Not letting him wash his hands with a dog tongue....
I've been thinking about how amazing stay at home mom's are. seriously. I could write a whole post about this. It's gotten to the point where if I'm sick, it's easier to come to work. Staying home with Heston can be exhausting! and there's only one of him!
I've been thinking that I wish it wasn't SO HARD for Casey and I to have kids. I LOVED having my brother so close in age. I'm having a really hard time accepting that that may not be the case for Heston. And the freaking Clomid turns me into a girl for about a week each month. Yes, I realize I am a girl but I've never had the emotional roller coaster most girls seem to have. But now, about once a month, I get sad. I just want more love and little things can make me mad or sad or touched or any other amounts of crazy you want to put out there. Beware; during this week I hope you aren't the person who asks me or tells me "it's time to have another one". because then I'll go into too much detail about our sex lives and try to make you uncomfortable. I hate that the clomid hasn't worked and now we'll have to take the next steps.
I've been thinking about the huge amounts of unconditional love Casey, Heston (our 2 other children, Skills and Moose) and I have sent our way. The Magnusson Family, the Moon Family, Our amazing friends... they would do anything for us. It's awesome.
I've been thinking about how excited I am for the third book in the Divergent series, Allegient, to come out! October 22 folks!
I've been thinking about the government shut down and how sad it is. How hard it is on our Nation. In so many ways.
I've been thinking about taking a Latin class. Because I believe if I all of a sudden get my magical powers, Latin will come in handy.

As you can see, I think about a lot of Nonsense! Most of it has no conclusion. Most of it will always be a puzzle in my mind. But hey, now I've blogged. One less thing to think about.

I feel this picture accurately portrays my life. And my mind. 

Revert

I've been thinking a lot about Reverting. I revert a lot. It's really kind of sad. The embarrassing truth of the matter is that when I see people from my past I revert to the person I was then. Not that there's a huge difference in me now and then but let me give you a slight example.

The other day I ran into a friend of my brothers. When I run into ANY of his friends I turn into 12 year old Leslie. Even though I didn't even know him when I was 12, that's what happened. I said "Hi how're you?" he said, "good how're you doing?" I said "good, thanks!" and then basically ran away. I get SHY. (Leslie gets shy??? what? that makes no sense!) With some of his other friends I just blush and quit speaking.  I'm 25 years old! I'm married with a baby! who is this shy Leslie?

Casey also likes to make fun of me because when I get with friends I totally revert back to who I was. With my PG friends I get giggly and over share EVEN MORE than normal. Their husbands think I'm INSANE (which may be possible) because they know WAY to much about me (peeing your pants when you vomit is totally normal during pregnancy! Don't judge me Shaun and Brandon!!! Casey I'm sorry for embarrassing you with that over share)With my friends from high school I get  LOUD. Like ridiculously loud. He's said on more than one occasion that I get annoying. Rude! but true.

Does anyone else do this??? What are your tips for stopping? I need to figure out a way to find my Zen so I'm not so awkward/annoying. I'm OK with most of them. I enjoy being loud with my high school friends! I enjoy the giggles. However, I don't enjoy the shyness and immaturity... It's sad to accept that I'll be obnoxious forever... and blushing is the worst! like my cheeks aren't red enough naturally, lets add a blush! Any way.... any tips would be lovely. thanks!